Top Ten Things Overheard at the Office 97 Announcement at COMDEX

• 10. Actually, 97 isn't the release year. It's the percentage of features you'll never use.
• 9. Sorry, Mr. Dole, that's not what we meant by "zero administration."
• 8. Actually, 97 isn't the release year. It's the number of megabytes a compact installation takes up.
• 7. We would have added more features, but all the good programmers are at Netscape.
• 6. Actually, 97 isn't the release year. It's the number of lawsuits we had to settle to be able to ship the thing.
• 5. Look out! I mean, Outlook!
• 4. Actually, 97 isn't the release year. It's how many times we mentioned "Internet" in the press release.
• 3. That's not the AltaVista blimp...that's the advertising budget!
• 2. Actually, 97 isn't the release year. It's where our stock will be if this doesn't fly.
• 1. Now, Bill, remember: it's Office 97, not "son of Bob."