Microsoft Acquires Department of Justice

MENLO PARK, Calif. -- Oct 14, 1994-- Microsoft Corp.(NASDAQ:MSFT) confirmed today that it is aquiring the Department of Justice as an addition to its impressive legal department. The agreement was signed today for an unspecified sum. Bill Gates, chairman and CEO of Microsoft Corporation, said, "You never can own too many lawyers."

The Department of Justice is expected later today to withdraw its earlier objections to a recent merger between Microsoft and Intuit, Inc. (INTU:NASDAQ). The Department no longer feels that sole control of the entire computer software industry strictly constitutes a monopoly.

The Department of Justice is a small arm of the United States Government whose charter is (or was) to oversee big business. Their goals are (or were) to ensure that unfair business practices are not being employed and that no company achieves total domination over its competition.